Memo16+--+Thesis+Proposal+Edit

Thomas Solley STSH 4980-01 Senior Thesis Costelloe-Kuehn 9/28/2014 10/1/14  10/5/2014  10/12/2014  10/13/2014  10/17/2014

Click here to return to portfolio.

__ Memo 16 -- Thesis Re-Work __ ... Need to follow the "proposal snapshots" template? Before, I went by the two-page one the professor emailed to us, which apparently was nto accurate-enough?

__ Concerns __ Feedback from Greg; .... Frankly I was dissappointed in my own work, that I got sucha harsh feedback from Greg. His points are valid, too. The biggest takeaway I got from Greg was that I needed to make my proposal less-opinionated, keep my tone consistent, add appropriate content-sections to mine (see his for format), structure my "plan" to be more concrete, and to use actual sources in my proposal. I worry about getting all this done, today, on top of all the other work that must be done. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this just yet -- that I should only re-work it AFTER I've done the annotations, zotero-structuring, etc. -- as then I will have hte articles/sources to back up my work so far, which is where I felt the weakest in my original draft. So for now this one will wait until Sunday -- though hopefully that is not too late. I will also be making notes here (probably) or else on the Record page, to indicate the progress of my changing views as I become more informed.

I cannot find the commented-piece he used, however, to provide feedback during our meeting from Wednesday (he showed up and the two of us exchanged feedback, but Brooke was not there and did not participate. She emailed us our commented proposals later that evening).

Feedback from Brooke; ... Uncertain of further feedback, as I cannot find this document on her Portfolio (I instead was emailed this). Will need to have this out and open as we re-work the thesis.

10/1/14 As per the UPDATE, my topic and focus has shifted to events in the last decade or so. This does change a lot of things -- the work I had been doing for the Background & Significance seems unrelated by now, as does the Aim of disproving the specified "god's work" criticism. I may not need to include bioethicist-controversy-handling in my Thesis at all, except in passing, e.g.; > required How does this sound?
 * Proposal (abstract, networked intelligence, requires redefinition of humanity and new considerations in policy)
 * Body; background of tech
 * Body; background of "humanity' definitions w/regards to transhumanism
 * Body; how culture is a networked intelligence
 * Include findings from culture-studies, polls [use of networking]
 * Body; ethical impacts of this (bioethicist claims?)
 * Conclusion; propose considerations for future policy, redefinitions of "humanity"

--> Still have not updated my Proposal. THIS IS NOT GOOD.

10/1/14 cont. Please see the Brainstorm from today for more on the new direction (proposed) that this Thesis of mine will be taking.

10/5/2014 " How has the experience with smartphones changed social views of “hive-connected minds” within the transhumanist community within the past 7 years?"

10/12/2014 Whelp, I'm finally prioritizing this one. The stuff for this week will have to come second. This must happen first.

... A bit off-guard now, sicne I'm having to get all this info required on the fly (will post a new Outline below); - re-worked Abstract, - Re-worked Overview, -

10/13/2014 Need to prioritize. Must get through this in two hours. - need new background and siginificance, do not have much info. - prep and work thus far, very little... -methodology and plan of work, needs the ost revision? - dissemination, was entirely missing, will now add...

Outline; Abstract; - Aim; ? Link smartphones and itnernat to transhumanism, hive-mind; smartphones and games (virtual self) have changed what society sees as a "hive mind", --> yeesh that seems.... off. **need social questions first?** --> Follow items from Memo25 notes; aim to probe social understanding of "what it means to be human," get folks thinking about the future, and look at the technological impact on society of _. STILL GENERIC - methods; lit review for metric data (case-studies), historical/time-changing data (social analysis of words/meaning/tech), ethnographic data (broad view group view). Interviews with Kurzweil for subjective data on "theology" behind original "hive mind" meaning, interview with Expert (COGSCI, Bram) for opinion on how tech/smartphones have changed the brain, interview with Eglash for expert opinion on if smartphones/networking have affected social/group behavior (confirmation, hoping to find specifics of "what" outside of "what I already think I know," possibly glean info on "how changes are guaged" and **"whom else to talk to"**) - expected results; already stated? Expect to find that smartphones/networking have created REDACTED uncertain what results to expect, have not chosen social question thus unsure of valdity of several "expectations". --> virtual prevalence? already done.... uncertain how to prove, does not seem related to research question.... assumption. --> dependence on networking technology? (cultural belief? if so, which/) .... uncertain how to prove, may be out-of0-scope... ---> still not consistent htough. not sure where the "chanegs in hve mind" due to "video games and surge of virtual presence come into play" - expected significance and circulation; mostly within transhumanist community, maybe some use by bioconservatives and lobbyists against cell-phoe use... seems more conv=servative than I originally hoped, DNC for now. May influence policy and law?
 * --> networking tech has changed social behavior? already proven? I have no idea.... Can still follow this, hope to make new conclusions, show results from brian-changes; link to transhumanism? YESSSSSSSSSSSS.**

Overview; - What study aims to accomplish; improve public awareness of "virtual dependence"? --> no... --> I'm stuck... Cannot seem to narrow Queries to a set of Social questions, from which to shape my Aims, Expectations... moving on for now. --> AGHHHH BUT I NEED A DIRECTION I NEED FOCUS i NEED TO KNOW WHAT QUESTIONS IM ASKING BEFORE I CAN ANSWER ANY OF THIS --->>>>>>>>> I could just talk about :how social patterns have changed with networks," but I want to do more than That!!! I want to suggest something new!!!! Didn't I already? "communication with other humans worldwide through Networking and Blogging interfaces indicates the basis for " [REDACTED] --> Aims to raise public awareness (break the fourth wall) of how "disruptive" smartphones and "social networks" have become to our lives. --> Aims to inspire the reader to live their daily lives without "social networking" (as exists on smartphones) --> Aims to suggest [REDACTED]

- What THE STUDY aims to accomplish; acquire survey data from smartphone and "social network" users as to how these technologies fit into their daily routines -- and how "disruptive" they see these technologies being to leading a "healthy lifestyle" [HUGE ASSUMPTION HERE] "how healthy would you say your lifestyle surrounding [spec. tech] is?" --> study will show that "networking" tech is not healthy to users. --> start witht his. [possibility of adding "hive" stuff later?] - How the study will accomplish these aims, and why the proposed approach is best; Will gather survery data from social-netowrking users on Facebook due to easy access. --> will show the above aim to be true by demonstrating public opinion/bias against "invasion" of technology into the "private"/"personal" life... - Where you will obtain data; I will obtain data through Facebook-distributed surveys to students within the "information generation" [mine], through existing ties to prior High School classes, current High School .... --> I will gather data through Facebook-distributed surveys of current RPI students and PHS students (easy access, part of generation), as well as through "existing literature on this topic" [Google-dumb article, 2011] and interfiews of technosocial experts (Start with Eglash, try to get better direction from him). - Why the study is important, in general, and particularly at this historical moment; communications technology since the smartphone has allowed access to global communications and thought-sharing. Tech will improve, need restrictions on how far to pervade the lifestyle, workspace, travel, etc. Current "semimovement" caling against Facebbok and "anti social networks," indicates public awareness.... - Who will carry the study out, with what expertise and preparation?; I will carry out the study, with the help of technosocial expert Ron Eglash. No prep at this point, hoping to get IRB done prior to surveys and interviews.

Background and significance; - state of the phenomena; smartphones a "distraction" on the road, considered a "distraction" in school. About all I have for "metric"/prpvable existence. - state of the social and cultural studies literature on the phenomena; "is google making us stupid" [article], givmodo-film on anti-facebook, --> acquire more literature and sources... --> Growing unrest regarding social networks and phones -- some claims that "social netowrks" are creating "introverts" (Gizmodo), new theme of "communication makes distances smaller, and as distances get smaller problems get bigger" [real quote is from Star Wars novel]

Preparation and work thus far; - Record and expertise of researcher; hope to have taken IRB, current smartphone user [can describe own struggle with "adopting"/"upgrading" from a "dumb" phone in college?], social analyst [DIS]. Paper from ISF on "upgrade" movement... - preliminary findings; [USE DATA FROM ARTICLES FROM 'BACKGROUND AND SIGNIFICANCE] -- some sort of "anti-facebook/anti-social-network" movement in society, image of "falling social standards" [may just be illusion due to "publicity of scandal"], some "dependence" on smartphones/social-networking? - pilot studies; [not sure what this is?][see Greg's paper for insight?] -- "reliability" of interview questions may be in question and may require directed-feedback to improve. --> Consider small-scale interviews within certain classes to test for acuracy of questions.

Methodology and plan of work; - conceptual framework; fear of judgement, fear of public image, "upgrade movement," "hive mind" (Kurzweil), Complexity Theory/swarm behavior, --> that's all I've got for now... - research questions; - site justification; the events and trends studied by this paper are notably reflected by the "information generation," persons close to my age. Asking RPI students helps to fit in the later-part of this sector -- high school teenagers fulfill the earlier half. Use of California Bay Area due to "shaping" tech and doctrines ("upwelling zone of social politics," most "liberal," not as "conservative" as NYS) - study components; lit review for background (used in this proposal) and finding case-studies, surveys for broad statistics-gathering, interviews for exper opinions and re-directs to new experts. - schedule of activities; whelp this needs refinng. Have only... 8 weeks left. Schedule accordingly. Move stuff up. - evaluation and validity; hoped to be used by market-assessers and technosocial analysts to restrict future market variations, hope to inform policy and legal. - research ethics; deals with "personal" and "public" privacy, right to free speech. Ethics of "going further" more shady -- "hive mind," self-augmentation...
 * how have networking technologies (smartphones) influenced the Transhumanist community in the last seven years? [new]
 * how has high school policy in California's Bay Area changed in the last seven years to accomodate the "information spread"?
 * how has legal policy been influenced by smartphones in the state of new york in the last seven years?
 * what is the current legislature regarding public use of smartphones?
 * "... regarding "online privacy" of social networks? [net neutrality debate]
 * what social patterns or behaviors have emerged in the last seven years amongst the "information generation" (mine) with smartphones?
 * "... with smartphone-apps? [all I've got for now]

Dissemination; - hoping to focus dissemination thru conference pres (find one), publish in some STS mag (find one), will have relevance in cross-expertise dialgue... And will certainly hope to inform public -future-policy. --- 10/17/2014 See the Notes from today for Research, answering my new Questions... Will be needed to do the Memos for this weekend, which are a Priority right now.